Date: 9th March 2011 at 8:32am
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The wiktionary definition reads as follows: ‘squeaky-bum time’ – the sound made from squirming or moving forward and back in one’s seat while watching an exciting sporting event. “It’s getting tickly now – squeaky-bum time, I call it.” Attributed to Sir Alex Ferguson and printed in The Daily Express newspaper, 18th March 2003.

Just like the sound made from the squirming and moving around in my own seat whilst watching Liverpool play, so too has their roller-coaster season been for most of us, up-and-down. Consistency is key as Kenny Dalglish points out.

The Carroll and Suarez Show

One of the positives and something to look forward to is the impending strike partnership of Andy Carroll & Luis Suarez. I think everyone at the club can look no further than these two to fire Liverpool back into the top flight of Europe again. Steven Gerrard looks lethargic after a gruelling World Cup; Glen Johnson is only now re-discovering his attacking instincts but still lacks the match-winner tag everyone is searching for, so it’s left to these two to single-handedly lift Anfield back into Champions League nights of glory. Fingers crossed they gel soon otherwise us fans will have to endear another season watching Europa League on Thursday nights.

Carroll has proven himself at this level for Newcastle and is still very young and should come good under the watchful eye of Dalglish. As for Suarez I think it’s safe to say that he has already endeared himself to the Anfield faithful. There is a strange analogy that whenever a striker joins English football from the Dutch league there is a natural tendency to reserve judgment, and rightfully so. Blame Afonso Alves, he scored 45 goals in one Eredivisie season for Heerenveen who could not tell the difference between a goal and a barn door at Middlesbrough. Also, Mateja Kezman, who scored 105 goals in 122 games for PSV Eindhoven was hopeless for Chelsea. United’s Ruud van Nistelrooy was of course an exception.

Is there any hope?

It’s going to be tough run-in towards the end of the season and Liverpool will have to undoubtedly rely on other teams and ‘favours’, plus some good fortune to get a sniff of fourth spot.

Let’s just say Liverpool do get miraculously fourth spot then my guess is that Spurs will sixth, either Manchester City or Chelsea lose out on and get fifth place. In all honesty I just can’t see that happening so Torres will get his wish with Chelsea finishing in third place, and City to hold on to fourth. So I pinch myself and concede Liverpool get a well deserved fifth place.

For me it’s been too little, too late. I think the West Ham defeat last week was a clear sign that there is a serious lack in depth and squad quality for Kenny to mount any serious challenge just yet. He needs time. Anyone else care to write Liverpool off at your own peril like I have?